Save Ferris.

I must be daft.

Yet again I am very fond of a guy that has yet to get over his ex-.
It must be a sense of longing, the desire to be that one...

I could see concern in his eyes when he told me the answer I had been looking for.
That, too, I keep finding myself doing, even though I had become so good at not asking questions I already knew the answer to.

I shoot myself in the foot.
I suppose it's best to find out now, however, than waiting and then figuring it out -- only knowing that the information had not changed in the prior, and you just denied it.

I don't regret how things have ended up, but again I followed my heart instead of being logical...
I keep running through the dialog in my head if we were to have this conversation

Basically...
"So...yeah, I can admit I'm a little jealous, if not more concerned...so do you still have feelings for her?"

"...Well...to be honest, yes, she was a big part of my life"

"yeah...that's what I figured..."

and then it could go one of two ways...thus being...

1. I could listen to my head and get out of it before it gets too serious....knowing that there obviously wasn't enough time for him to consider what he wanted

2. I could be cool about it and just take it as it is...because it's never going to go anywhere but here...the stereotypical girl way....

say I go with 2...it's going to end like this

"so, I talked to her and we've decided to give it another go...I'm sorry it didn't work out..."

"uh, yeah, thanks for being honest at least. See ya"





Shit, man....I'm down.

Why do I have to ask such stupid questions?
Why can't I just realize that I'm not going to be someone's someone?

I don't want it, but how I long to be longed for.